Family Theories

    This week in my family relations class we had a great discussion on family theories. Some of these theories include exchange theory, symbolic interaction theory, and conflict theory.

    Exchange theory is like a scale: if one person in a relationship is giving and giving, but is not receiving anything in return then the scale becomes unbalanced. If the scale becomes unbalanced then the person that is giving so much stops and ends the relationship. This reminds me of an example of my sister. My sister was dating this guy and my sister liked him a lot; so she was putting a lot of effort into the relationship, but her boyfriend wasn’t really giving anything in return. After a while, my sister became tired of giving so much and felt like she was being used so she broke up with him. In order to have a healthy relationship the scale should be balanced. When the scale is balanced then both parties feel loved and appreciated. 

    The second theory is symbolic interaction theory. This theory suggests that everything we do is significant and has a symbolic meaning. Sometimes people misread these behaviors. Like for example, it happens in the way we talk and communicate. If I was very rude and blunt with someone, then that person would probably think I don’t like them. In reality I’m not being mean because I don’t like that person, I might be rude because I was having a bad day or any number of other reasons. One example my teacher talked about in class was misinterpreting behaviors because of texting. This couple was dating and the girl texted her boyfriend asking what he was doing, and the boyfriend replied “I’m busy.”. The girl took offense to the period and thought that it meant her boyfriend didn’t like her anymore. The girlfriend ended up breaking up with her boyfriend because he responded with a period. When in reality the boyfriend probably wasn’t made or wasn’t losing feelings, he probably was just trying to use correct grammar. Symbolic interaction theory is cool because it helps us realize that everyone does something for a reason. The downfall of this theory is not reading too much into the reason. 


    The next theory is called conflict theory. Conflict theory is described as whenever there are two or more people there is always going to be a conflict when making a decision. Conflict is natural, but fighting is unnecessary. Because each one of us is so unique, this means we all have different opinions. For example, when my roommates and I are deciding what movie to watch, each one of us is in the mood for a different genre. Just because there are differences doesn’t mean there has to be arguing or fighting. If my roommates and I fought every time we were picking out a movie, we would never watch movies together. The important thing about conflict theory is communicating and learning how to compromise. One couple from a tv series that does a good job of displaying conflict theory is Mitchell and Cameron from Modern Family. In almost every episode Mitchell and Cameron are fighting and disagreeing. Either one person doesn’t agree with the other, so they try to fix the problem themselves or convince their partner to change their mind by going behind their back. By the end of the episode one of them is hurt by the other actions. If in the first place they had talked it through and communicated with each other, then the fighting wouldn’t have happened. We are always going to disagree with people, but disagreeing shouldn’t equal fighting. Communication should always be first. 

    I think these theories are very important in all aspects of life. Whether it’s little kids in preschool, teens in high school, young adults, parents starting a family, middle aged people or senior citizens. There is information from these theories that can be helpful in each stage of life.


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