Concerns of Having Families

Each family is unique. Some families have 1 child, while others have 8 kids. How do people decide how many kids to have? I always thought that it was just a married couple's preference, but after discussing this in my family relations class, my thoughts have changed. First I would like to discuss the concerns that many people have with having kids. Some of those concerns are time, energy, money and the fear of bringing kids into this cruel world. I have two nephews and I can definitely say that I have experienced either from my own experience or from my brothers and sister in laws experiences that these concerns are real and legitimate.

When I spend time with my nephews, I always become so exhausted. Kids are so fun to play with, but it can take a lot of time and energy out of you. Then by the time you are done playing with your kids, you don’t have the energy or time to accomplish other chores or even have time for yourself. 

Another concern that many people have is money. Many people think oh I’ll have a kid once we have money, or once we have good jobs, or when we finish college. But these holds end up adding on to each other. Then by the time couples are settled and ready for kids, their chances decrease. When a woman turns 30, her chances of conceiving greatly decrease.

Another concern people have with having kids is bringing children into this cruel world. This world is tough and constantly changing. It helps me to know that even though the world is hard and cruel, my home doesn’t have to be. My home can be a safe haven where my husband and I will lead our kids in love and in Christ. There was a quote that was said in my class by Brigham Young that goes, “those children you choose not to invite in your home, will go to a home that will not give them what you could have”. I don’t think the purpose of this quote is to say that everybody should have 10 kids, but I think it is saying that the decision to have kids is a big decision that should be discussed between you and Heavenly Father. 

My teacher told us a story from his own life. When my teacher would go to the gym he had a friend that he would work out with. His friend was super wealthy. He had a nice home, a wife, and lots of money. He seemed to have what all Americans are looking for, yet this guy would always ask my teacher about his kids. He would always ask how they are doing in school and sports. He genuinely wanted to hear and was invested in my teacher's life and his kid’s lives. My teacher finally asked his friend if he had kids of his own. The guy responded saying that he and his wife wanted to live the life of traveling and living wealthy and by the time they settled down and wanted kids it was too late. This guy says that my teacher’s kid’s are the closest he has to kid’s of his own and that is why he is always asking how they are. My teacher’s family had a huge impact on his friend. 

My teacher’s friend lived the high life, but does that mean he is successful? How is success measured? How does God measure success? I think God measures success differently for everybody, but I think one way God measures success is by having a happy and loving family. One commandment God gave to Adam and Eve was to multiply and replenish the earth and that still applies to all of us. Having kids is a sacred right and I think the decision should be made with your spouse and with God. 

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